Always looking, never seeing

by: Jessica Lynne Trese
What would it mean to stop looking and actually SEE?

I have spent the majority of my life looking for something. Looking for approval, looking for love, looking for validation, looking for happiness, looking everywhere for what was missing in my heart, for what was missing in my life. I looked to others, I looked to money, I looked to partners, I looked to material possessions…basically, I looked outward.

This constant LOOKING finally led me to a yoga mat.

I was looking for peace of mind, looking for something more in my life, looking for a healthier body. As I began practicing yoga regularly, my pattern of looking outward for validation and happiness continued. I would look for approval, look for new poses, look for the next accomplishment.

All of this looking was to fill something that was missing in my life.

And where did this get me? I found pain, suffering, frustration, loneliness and isolation.

But, with the help of some really amazing teachers along the way, I was led to turn inward and observe. I finally learned to calm down my monkey mind enough to start to see and witness my inner landscape.

Instead of looking outward to receive what I needed, I found a path to turn inward.

And there it was revealed, everything I was seeking was inside me all along. Like the tearful moment when Dorothy realizes she could have been swept back to Kansas at any moment, I found myself rushed with the overwhelming knowledge that I had everything I was looking for me inside me already.

तदा द्रष्टुः स्वरूपेऽवस्थानम् ॥३॥
tadā draṣṭuḥ svarūpe-‘vasthānaṃ ॥1.3॥

And then, the seer abides in His own nature.

By practicing yoga, you can lead your self toward bliss and supreme connectivity. Or, you can also be led toward more suffering.

The intention beneath your practice is what matters the most.

What are you looking for on your mat?

What do you SEE when you look within?



* About Jessica

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Returning the Mat

by: Jessica Lynne Trese
Samasthiti Feet
I hadn’t practiced in 18 weeks and the idea of stepping back on my mat was a little overwhelming. I started practicing Ashtanga Yoga in 2007 and since then, I’ve never taken this much time away from my practice.

There are so many reasons we can get pulled away from our mat: injury, pregnancy, depression, illness and sometimes laziness. For me, it happens to be a joyous reason, but the idea of trying to ‘rebuild’ my practice after four and a half months off still brought up all of my old patterns of perfectionism and avoidance (if I can’t get it ‘perfect’ I have a history of just avoiding it).

Baby TreseIt is recommended that women rest from their Ashtanga practice during the first trimester of pregnancy. This is a very delicate time in the gestational process and most women are guided to let their bodies lead the process without adding a strong practice to the mix. For me, this hiatus began with standard first trimester rest, and then some complications led me from voluntary rest to limited activity as ordered by my Doctor. We also had a few more bumps in the road which kept me away from my mat for another month.

And then, it was time, little bundle was safe and healthy, and I was cleared to resume normal pregnant activity.

The first week back was tougher than I could have ever imagined. I tried, but all I seemed to be able to pull out of myself were sun salutations. And it wasn’t easy, most days I wanted to just quit practicing. My mind was distracted and disconnected, my body was stiff and resistant and my heart was unrestful as I moved through these familiar motions.

But after the first week of struggling, I finally started to feel excitement as I stepped on my mat each day, and with it along came some additional physical strength and stamina to practice more than only sun salutations. I’m in the process of reconnecting to my practice, and the moments of interconnectedness are beginning to grow again, slowly I’m seeing more frequent peacefulness in my practice.

19weeks Baby BumpI know I will never ‘get back to where I was,’ because that moment has passed and this moment is an entirely new experience. And I also know I will once again find ease and grace on my mat, a brand new and also familiar experience in each fresh moment, and in each familiar pose. I will once again grab my heels in kapotasana, and find lightness as I drop back, it will come.

But it won’t come as a RE-creation of what was. It will come as a simultaneously familiar and entirely brand new experience as I move through my practice each day.

General guidelines for practicing Ashtanga Yoga during Pregnancy





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Yoga Doesn’t Really Mean Union

by: Jessica Lynne Trese (Moore)

yoga-patanjaliYoga is often times defined as union. To me, this is not completely accurate.

Students always hear, yoga means uniting our body, mind and soul. Which sounds awesome! But, I feel this definition is missing something.

I interpret yoga to mean RE-UNION. Yoga is a tool to help students return to place of inner peace through connection, a place we have been before, the place from which we came but have since forgotten. Yoga opens the door to once again, reside in complete unity within our own divine Self.

So, I like to define yoga as REUNION, returning to the place of complete connection, which life has led us to forget about.



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What does it really mean to practice non-attachment?

by: Jessica Lynne Trese (Moore)

Vairagya, non-attachment, gets thrown around a lot during yoga classes and discussions on yoga philosophy. But what does it really mean to practice non-attachment?

Often times, non-attachment gets interpreted as indifference. As students we hear ‘practice non-attachment’ and we think, ‘ok, I just need to stop caring about everything.’ WRONG.

To me, non-attachment can only be practiced in the presence of pure connection. Non-attachment means connecting to the present moment, without trying to control it.

Connection is the key to non-attachment.

In order to practice non-attachment, we must reside within the exchange of energy in each and every moment without trying to control it. We must give our energy freely, with kind and honest intentions, and genuinely experience what each moment has to offer.

We Are All ConnectedIt’s possible the whole reason we are here on this earth is to CONNECT. Maybe our purpose is solely to connect to our Self, to connect to each other, to connect to the Divine, which is present in and around all of us. Connection could possibly be the goal of our entire journey. Honest connection, without trying to control what comes back to us, but accepting what comes for exactly what it is.

And when we roll out our mat everyday, the goal is not to preform asanas but to connect to the Divine within our hearts even when our situation seems impossible.

Live This MomentAnd when we fail, when we are faced with a task which appears unfeasible we find the strength to continue wholeheartedly, and without attachment to the outcome of our efforts.

We practice the poses to feel and experience the present moment within each pose, and when we don’t catch the bind or stick the landing, we accept the outcome without remorse, judgment or anger. And when we do manage to accomplish the impossible, we accept it graciously, and then move on to the next moment with joy in our heart.




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Some Truth About Ashtanga Yoga

By: Jessica Lynne Trese (Moore)

Sometimes Ashtanga Yoga can get a bad reputation in the yoga community. It’s called the ‘fitness yoga’ and all the students are closed-minded because they practice the same ‘routine’ everyday. And Ashtangis are known for being a little over the top with our adherence to ‘the rules of Ashtanga.’

Is Ashtanga Yoga ‘fitness yoga?’

No, not the way most people think of fitness routines. Our asana practice (postures) is meant to heat up the body, to cleanse, purify and enliven the physical body from the inside out.

A more fitting description would be ‘body healing yoga’ because we find balance, ease and health throughout the physical body from the physical asana practice.

Are we closed-minded because we practice the same ‘routine’ everyday?

Not even close! We open our minds, and hearts up to the subtle nuances of in-depth study. Ashtanga Yoga is used as a tool to turn inward and by taking the same ‘route’ inward each day we can start to notice the more subtle changes in the body. We can start to notice the more subtle changes in our hearts.

Taking a different route inward everyday you can miss the subtle changes in YOU!

Are we over the top in following ‘the rules of Ashtanga’?

Not really. Yes, there are some rules/guidelines that we stick to. Ashtanga Yoga is a tool for Self-transformation, and the rules/guidelines show us how to use this tool.

Simply by surrendering to the ‘rules’ of Ashtanga Yoga our transformation begins. The ‘rules’ show us what to do and when we let the mind surrender to this method, it can finally rest and stop trying to control every single thing. Then we can start to truly experience the present moment; the moment is no longer colored by the mind’s wish to have it be something else.  Presence and stillness can reside within the mind.

All those who practice the Ashtanga Yoga method for a long time, without break and with devotion have experienced the way the practice allows the light in our hearts to shine. Illuminating the present moment with acceptance, peace, gratitude and joy.

And the most amazing part of this practice is the Ashtanga Yoga Community. Our community spans the globe, and no matter how far one of us travels, if we find another Ashtanga student, we will have found a piece of our heart. Even if we don’t speak the same language, we can speak to each other through the language of our practice. A global community of people, each one dedicated to working on being the best version of their own Self as possible.


 



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